Possibly Dangerous
by Pyrus Japonica
Summary: Nonsense and general craziness abounds. Includes: Curly as a teenager, gypsy curses, our favorite couples, some notsofavorite couples, penguins, zoos, and a missing teacher. Chapter 2: The Geeks
1. Curse

Disclaimer:  My analyst says I should be over the fact that Hey Arnold! doesn't belong to me by 2047.  I think she's an optimist.

Possibly Dangerous

By Pyrus Japonica

Chapter 1

Curse

_Crazy, n.:  someone deranged and possibly dangerous, See also:  wacko, psycho, teenager.  For specific example, see:  Gammelthorpe, Thaddeus "Curly"._

            -- taken from the Hillside City Collective Dictionary, edition VII

Penguins are not fun to wake up to.

Don't get me wrong, I love the little flightless birds.  But still, they're not really the kind of animal that you want to start your day with.  Especially Jackass ones.

"Shut up!" I yelled into the void of my room.  The braying stopped just long enough for the penguins to be amazed that the lump under my covers was making noise, then started up again.  I groaned and stuck my head out far enough to check my clock.

"Dad!  It's freaking 5 am, can't you shut up the penguins??"

A shadow appearing on the floor told me my dad was standing in the doorway.  Probably fully dressed, the freak, but I wasn't about to check.  I swear the shadow was smiling.

"Thaddeus!  Wonderful to see you awake!"

I made a rude gesture at him from under the covers.

"Aren't they beautiful?" he cooed at the birds waddling around my room.  "Sadly, they can't stay long.  Even though I turned off the heat they really need their own environment.  They're just stopping here long enough for a bit of a visit before they head off to a State Zoo."

I poked my head further out of the covers to look at him.  He was dressed, thank God.

"Which one?"

"Hmm?" he had been distracted by one of the penguins eating my homework.  Another great excuse in the making.  "Oh, I don't know.  Probably Michigan."

I jumped out of bed, then jumped right back in when I realized how cold it was.  I wrapped myself in blankets and stood on the bed to yell at my dad.  "Michigan?  As in, Detroit Zoo??  Dad, you can't!"

"Now Thaddeus, it's not like I have a choice here son.  This is my job, it's how I put food on the table.  I transport animals.  If you don't like it, maybe you'd like to get a job and support me and your mother!"  He glared at me, then stomped off to the kitchen.

"Dad," I yelled after him, "I'm 17!  I'm a junior in High School!  I could _get a job if you'd let me!"_

"You mean if the _city would let you!" he yelled back._

"Same thing," I mumbled.

I sat down and watched the penguins wreak havoc in my room.  "Jackass penguins," I rattled off automatically, "Are named for their ability to bray like a donkey and are native to…well, not Michigan anyway."  One of the penguins had figured out how to get onto my desk, and was playing King of the Hill with the other penguins.

Well, there was no way I'd be going back to sleep in all this.  I got up and started shivering uncontrollably.  Clothes.  Must get clothes.  I headed to my closet and one of the few comforting constants in my life.  The same striped shirt, the same black pair of shorts that I've been wearing since I was who knows how old.  I managed to make my way to the closet door and open it.  And scream.

I jumped over the penguins and hurtled towards the kitchen.  My dad, probably still mad at me, was slamming the refrigerator door.  I skidded to a halt in front of him and caught my breath.

"Where.  Are.  All.  My.  Clothes?!" I sputtered.

My dad stared at me, half-eaten wheat toast in hand.  He pointed at a freezer lying sideways and open on the floor.  I knelt and peered in.  It was lined with my clothes, now shredded and covered in penguin poop.  Great.

"Uh, Thaddeus?"

"WHAT."  I wasn't in the mood for small talk.  I stood to face him and glanced at the clock.  Well, at least I had plenty of time to find something to wear before school.

"Ever considered say…pajamas?"

I looked down.  Ah.  That would explain the draft I was feeling.  I attempted to muster my dignity.  "Perhaps, if I owned any…"

"Didn't we get you some for Christmas last year?"

"No dad, that was a porcupine.  Not exactly comfortable sleepwear."

"Your birthday then."

"On my birthday, you bribed a guard to let me into the zoo."

"Oh, that's right," he narrowed his eyes at me, "Do you still have that uniform?"

"No," I lied, "Any other questions?  Because I need to learn how to sew before the bus comes, or I'll be wearing a sheet to school."  Actually, that might not be a bad idea.

He waved his hand at me and spoke to my mother, who had been sitting at the kitchen table during this entire exchange.  "This Christmas, pajamas.  Got that Christina?"

My mother nodded and sipped her hot water with lemon.  My dad looked disappointed.  I don't know what he had expected.  At least she acknowledged him.  I turned and walked back to the chaos of my room.

It was covered in feathers.  Apparently while I was gone one of the birds had had the bright idea to rip open my pillow.  I could get some tar, and then invite my dad…but no, I had bigger problems to solve first.  Like what I was going to wear today.

A sheet was probably out unless I could find some scissors, and my luck wasn't running too well right now.  Where were the clothes I was wearing yesterday?  Let's see, last night when I got back…but thinking of last night suddenly brought everything back to me.

"Oh no!" I said aloud, "I'm cursed!"

"Not while you're under my roof!" yelled my dad.

I ignored him and tried to recall the events of last night…

_It was the Cheese Festival, again.  I had gone underneath the Tilt-o-Whirl to see if I could break it but I forgot my wrench, so I had to crawl out again to find it._

_Unfortunately, I must have gotten turned around under there, because when I finally got outside I was on the opposite end from my tools.  I was just about to go back when a hand grabbed my shoulder._

_"You are come to have your fortune told, yes?"_

_I was near the Destiny Tents, Fortunes Told for 25 Cents, and the ample lady gripping me was obviously a gypsy._

_"No!" I yelled and tried to bite her hand, but nearly chipped a tooth on one of her bangles.  She frowned at me and pushed me into her tent._

_"I will tell your fortune now."  She sat me down at a small table and seated herself at the other side, blocking my exit.  I hunched down and glared at her._

_"I don't have a quarter."_

_"Now you don't."  She smiled and held out her hand.  In it was the thirty-five cents I was saving for moldy cheese later._

_"Give that back!"_

_She snatched her hand away and frowned again.  "Be glad I don't sue you for assault.  This will only take a minute.  Relax."_

_"Relax?  I've just been kidnapped!  I've just been robbed!  I—"_

_She clamped one large hand against my mouth, and wouldn't move it despite my licking it desperately.  She put her other hand to her head and began to hum loudly.  I wished I had a laser beam._

_"I see that you are greatly troubled.  Your life has not been as easy one."_

_I managed to pull her hand away long enough to spit out, "Maybe if I hadn't just been mugged…" before she muzzled me again._

_"But there is a ray of hope…something to say about your future…it is coming…coming…almost here…"_

_I went for all out panic.  Arms and legs flailing wildly, I knocked over the table, breaking her concentration and a few of the glass objects in the room besides.  The table hit a tiny portable radio which switched to a pop station._

_"He was a boy,_

_She was a girl._

_Can I make it any more obvious?"_

_"Hey, I like this song!"  I started to dance but the gypsy grabbed me by the neck this time._

_"Erk…"_

_"Destiny brought you here tonight boy, you cannot escape it," she brought her face closer to mine, and I could smell alcohol on her breath, "You may think you can do without help from the fates, but I know you cannot do that either."  Looking over to the floor, she muttered, "You broke my crystal ball.  That thing cost me $29.95, damn it."  Then she squashed her nose against mine.  I held my breath.  "A curse on you, Thaddeus," she whispered._

_And with that, she kicked me out of her tent.  Literally._

_It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had never told her my name._

I came back to the present.  Was I really cursed?  I thought carefully about the events of the day so far.  Nothing unusual.  I'd have to keep an eye out for strange things happening to me.

I turned my head slightly and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.  Still a handsome devil.  My bowl cut was getting really long, it was past my ears now but dad kept forgetting to cut it.  Even my bangs had grown out so I had to comb them out of the way.  I flexed and grinned.  Oh yeah, all those zoo raids were paying off in muscle-tone.  No doubt about it, I am to die for.  I swatted a penguin away.

That's when I remembered that my clothes from last night were in my hamper, of all places.  I dug them out.  Not my normal outfit exactly.  Actually not at all.  I had only worn them because the Cheese Festival has a nasty habit of kicking me out if they recognize me.  A black t-shirt and some black jeans, both of which were a bit tight.  (Aunt Frieda had bought them for me right before my last growth spurt.)  I slid them on and looked in the mirror again.  At least they matched my hair, which kept falling into my eyes.  Annoying.  Really need to get Dad to cut that.

Ok, all set for school.  Except…something was missing.  I stared into the mirror, going over every detail of my appearance.  Nothing.  Then I turned and scanned my room.  Other than more penguins, again, nothing.  I looked back at the mirror again.  Then it hit me.  I could see my reflection.

Not that I'm a vampire or anything, it's just that usually first thing in the morning my reflection is all fuzzy because…I don't have…my glasses…on.  The truth was dawning slowly on my mind.  I stared at my eyes, one more time for good measure.  Blue.  Bright deep blue.  But no glasses.

Panicked, I opened my specially locked drawer in my desk, pulled out a crushed velvet case, opened the case and put on my beautiful thick lovely official Gammelthorpe glasses.

I couldn't see a thing.  It was like looking through clam chowder.  Not that I've ever tried.  Much.

I took off the glasses.  Perfect vision.  Slowly, I folded my official Gammelthorpe glasses that everyone in my entire extended family wore except my Great Uncle Rubert who we never talk about anyway, replaced them in their case and locked them away.

And now I was scared.

A/N:  I am too.  I think this chapter will be the least random of them.  And don't worry I'm working on Hot Air, I just needed a psycho break and this is it.  :)  ~PJ


	2. Chapter onepointfive: Change

A/N:  Before you start wondering if perhaps you've wandered into the wrong story, yes this is a Lila chapter.  (No!  Don't leave yet!)  And yes I know I'm switching persons and POVs and wreaking all sorts of havoc but after all this is a Curly story, it's not supposed to make sense…I probably won't do any more from her POV in this story though, hence this is chapter 1.5 rather than 2.  And besides, I wanted a chance to prove that even Lila can be interesting from the right perspective.  Not funny, really, but interesting at least.  I promise there is a point to all this.  I just don't promise that I'll actually tell you what it is.  :)  ~PJ

Chapter 1.5

Change

            _There are times when nice, pretty, sweet, kind, smart, funny and perfect just isn't good enough._

_            - Lila's mother, on why she married Lila's father_

Lila was awake.  She had been awake for a long time, lying in her bed listening to the sounds of her father making breakfast.  She really should get up and go help him.

But she didn't.

He would be worried about her.  It was almost six o'clock and she was still in bed, pretending to sleep.  Lila didn't own an alarm clock.  She had never needed one, getting up before sunrise was simply natural to her.  She always enjoyed mornings, helping her dad get ready for work and readying herself for school.

Today, however, she wanted to stay in bed.  For as long as humanly possible.

But there are some who insist that Lila was not strictly human, and for her to be in bed after six was a near impossibility.  So with a small sigh she slid out of bed and padded quietly to the bathroom.  She picked up her cute little pink toothbrush and then stood there staring into the mirror for a while.

This was also something Lila didn't do often.  Moments of quiet reflection were usually reserved for wondering if it would be best to go feed the ducks in the park or participate at the Soup Kitchen after school.  Or perhaps deciding which boy she should sit next to at lunch.  Never contemplating her own image.

She never needed to look in mirrors, really.  She knew she was pretty, her mother had told her so once before she died, and that was all Lila needed.  And even first thing in the morning she never seemed to have sleep in her eyes, or pillow marks on her face.  And her lovely long wavy auburn hair was always perfectly in place.  She rarely needed to brush it really, though she did – 100 strokes every night – anyway.  It was, however, slightly different this morning, and that was why Lila was staring.

"Lila?"  Her dad.  She should go downstairs, let him know she wasn't ill.

"Just a minute Father," she called, then winced at the sound of her own sing-song voice.  

He was going to be angry with her.  She had never seen him angry, and she wondered what it would be like.  Would he yell?  She had never heard him yell.  That might be ever so hard to hear.

First though, she needed to get dressed.  She looked at her fuzzy bunny pajamas ruefully.  Suddenly they didn't seem to quite match her.  She finished brushing her teeth and went to her wardrobe.

It was very green inside.  Her favorite color, of course, and it always set off her eyes and hair nicely.  But today she was looking for anything but green.  She almost thought about wearing black, but knew that there was no such color in _her closet.  She went through it carefully though, just to be sure.  Green, green, yellow-green, blue-green, light green, dark green, pea green, pea soup green, green the color of her eyes, green the color of her room, and, for some unknown reason, a lavender dress that was three sizes too small.  And a yellow swimsuit._

This wouldn't do.  She had to have something else.  She opened one of the drawers where she saved old and ill-suited clothes to give to charity.  Aha.  A dark blue shirt that was a bit short on her, and further in a gray pleated skirt she had never worn.  Lila put them on and was pleasantly surprised when they fit, though she had to pull the shirt down slightly to keep from exposing her belly.

It was almost 6:30.  Quickly she finished getting ready and went downstairs to meet her father.

**********

Lila's father was, at that moment, about to go up to get her.  It was obvious that his poor girl was sick, and he was going to have to force her to stay home from school today.  It always broke his heart to have to do that, she loved school so much.  But her health was more important.

Just as he put the scrambled eggs on the table, however, he heard the tell-tale creak on the stairs that meant Lila was on her way down.  He straightened up and turned to smile at his daughter.

It was not his daughter.

At least, that was his first thought.  But before he had a chance to panic he realized that the girl standing in front of him was in fact Lila.  A Lila wearing a too-small sweater for his taste.  A Lila who slept in until six in the morning.

A Lila with freshly dyed black hair.

A Lila he wasn't sure he liked.

He attempted to remain calm.  He had read about such things in the many teenager books stacked in his personal library.  It was just a phase, it would pass.  The important thing was to offer love and acceptance no matter what.  Love and acceptance, yes, that was the ticket.  He drew a breath.

"What the hell did you do?"

Lila's eyes widened in shock.  Hm.  Perhaps that wasn't the best way to begin.  Lila looked down at her feet.

"I…I dyed my hair."

"I can see that.  Why?"  

"I wanted to, just ev—I just wanted to."  But he had heard it.  His daughter had stopped herself from using that adorable phrase she had said since she first learned to speak.  That did it.  Something was very wrong.

"Anything else I should know about?"

She looked up at him.  "I'd rather not go to school today."

_Love and acceptance, love and acceptance…_

A controlled breath.  "And why not?"

"I just…can't."

A light dawned.  "Is this because of what we talked about—"  A sharp look – had she ever looked at him like that before? – cut him off.  So he had hit a nerve.  Ok then, this he could deal with.

"Well then let's talk about this.  You have to go to school.  No—" he held up a hand to cut _her off this time, "That's not up for discussion.  Now let's talk about…what you've done."  _

"Do we have to?"  She sat down at the table and for a moment seemed more like the child he knew.  

"Yes, we have to.  Look, I realize that teenagers go through a stage of "finding themselves" but that doesn't mean you have to change everything about you.  Your beautiful hair…your clothes…your way of life – it doesn't all have to change just because you—"

"Dad, I told you.  I wanted to do this."

"And I'm telling you, you don't have to!  Lila," he calmed himself enough to speak softly, "These things…it's who you _are."_

There was silence for a few moments.  Then Lila answered just as quietly.  

"Then maybe I don't want to be me anymore."

And before her dad could think of anything else to say, she picked up her backpack and left the house.

A/N:  Back to Curly next chapter, I promise!  (and erm, back to funny stuff as well…)  Oy, here's to Lila, world's greatest Mary Sue…

SassyAngel:  Shall be continued, I promise.

Maxine:  I love Curly!  He'll be back in the (real) second chapter…

That Sock in the Fridge:  I'm glad you liked it, more craziness next chapter…

Chief:  See, there was a reason I led Curly away on a leash…

Sleather Chonkers:  Curly's Gary Stue, and Lila's riddled with angst?  What is wrong with this picture?  :)

Poison Ivory:  Finish your Christmas story!!  :)

pogo:  yeah, this is a major break compared to Hot Air.  It's just silly so it's easy to write, lol.


	3. Circumstances

(Real) Chapter 2

Circumstances

_            I believe in love at first sight.  And if that doesn't work, stalk 'em til it does._

--  Affirmation No. 118 of the _Mellon Hoth_

"No!  Bad penguin!  Leggo my bookbag!"

I kicked the offending bird out of the way and managed to slam the door behind me.  I took a deep breath of the crisp January air.  Free at last.

And right on time.  I scrambled down the sidewalk to meet the school bus rumbling towards me.  I hopped on as quickly as I could – the driver never pauses very long at my house.

As I walked down the aisle towards my customary seat at the back of the bus, a strange feeling came over me.  You know how your spine tingles when you start thinking about the volcanic planet scene in Star Wars III, well at least it'd better be in there because if not about a zillion angry fans will be mobbing George Lucas?  Well, this was like that, only in reverse.

You know, animals can actually tell if someone is looking at them.  Well, humans can too to some extent, but not like prey animals especially.  I once overheard a chipmunk telling a squirrel—

Hmm.  You know, I'm so used to someone cutting me off at that point in the story that I'm not sure I know how it ends anymore.

Where was I?

Oh yes, the strange feeling.  Right about then I figured out what it was.  No one was looking at me.

Now, granted, it was a big bus, packed with teens, most of whom I didn't know.  But normally when I get on the bus every day, I am greeted by at least two or three stares.  Or twenty or thirty as the case may be.

This wouldn't do.  I stopped in the middle of the bus and drew in a huge breath.

"I AM CURLY THE MAGNIFICIANT!  ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME!"  I added one of my trademark lunatic laughs for effect.

Much better.

I marched back to my seat triumphantly.  Someone near the front yelled "Freak!" in what I assumed was my direction.  I smiled and flopped down by my two minions.

Eugene was looking out the window.  Brainy was playing a game on his graphing calculator.  Neither acknowledged me so I socked them both.

"Hello Curly."  Brainy didn't look up.  

"Was that a penguin you were trying to keep in your house?" asked Eugene without turning.

I bet Voldemort never has this kind of trouble from _his_ minions.

"Yes, it was a penguin.  No, I didn't steal it, Dad did and he's going to put them back.  And yes, I've been cursed by an inebriated gypsy, thanks for asking."

Of course, Voldemort would also never let himself get cursed by an amateur.

Eugene ignored me, but Brainy finally looked up.  His double-take satisfied me immensely.  

"Where's your glasses?  What are you wearing?  Who are you and what have you done with Curly?" he asked in rapid succession.  Eugene turned around and jumped back so fast that he wacked his head against the window.  I ignored Brainy and looked hard at Eugene.

"Say it." I demanded.  Eugene rolled his eyes.

"Do I have to?" he whined.

"Yes."  One must enforce strict rules with ones minions.

"Fine.  I'm ok.  Happy?"

"Yes."

Brainy shook his head at me.  "Dude, that hasn't been his phrase since like fifth grade.  I swear no one on Earth lives in the past as much as you do Curly."

"Hey look, Helga's taking the bus today."

"What?  She never takes the bus, she always—" Brainy cut himself off with his own breathing as he scanned the bus.  His asthma's gotten better lately, but it still kicks in when he gets excited.

Eugene and I laughed.  Brainy slumped in his seat and scowled at us.

"Should have known.  Like you could have seen her anyway without your glasses."

"Actually—"

"Check it out, Gerald finally got that car he's been wanting!"  Eugene pointed and I crawled over Brainy to get to the window.  Sure enough, Gerald was cruising down the road beside us, one hand on the wheel and the other arm around a smiling Phoebe.

"Oooo."

"Cool."

"What kind is it?" asked Brainy, getting out his calculator again.

"Umm."

"It's a, uh…"

"It's black." I decided.

"Yep, definitely black." Eugene agreed.

Before we could elaborate more, however (I was about to say that it was black inside the car also), Gerald sped up and the car passed the bus.  This allowed us a glimpse into the back seat, where Arnold and—

"Helga!" Eugene blinked and rubbed his eyes.

"Second time isn't funny Eugene."

"No!  I mean, Helga!  And Arnold!  In the back seat!"

"That's new." I observed.

"No it's not." said Brainy, still looking at his calculator.

"Since when?" Eugene wanted to know.

"Friday.  In the park by the fountain.  At 8:27pm."

I didn't argue.  If there's one thing you don't doubt Brainy on, it's facts about Helga.

"This calls for an emergency meeting." I decided, and Eugene nodded.

"No.  I'm fine.  Really."  Brainy put away the calculator again (he can never get past level 1 on Space Invaders anyway), sat back and stared at the front of the bus.

I ignored him.  "I hereby bring this meeting of the _Mellon Hoth _to order.  As president, I move we skip ceremonials and old business until next time and proceed directly to new business."

"I second the motion." added Eugene with a worried glance at Brainy.

"All for the motion?"  Eugene and I said "Aye."  Brainy said nothing.  "All opposed?"  Brainy continued staring towards the front.  "The ayes have it.  Now—"  I turned to Brainy.

"Wait, what was that about a curse Curly?"  Trust Eugene to finally make the connection now.

"The president reminds the treasurer that the meeting is still in session." I snapped.

"Who's that?"  Brainy sat up.  Am I the only one who takes proper procedure seriously?  I glanced at the front.

It was Lila.  Guess she dyed her hair.  And wore something other than that stupid-looking green prep-dress.  That's still no reason for Eugene and Brainy to go all goggle-eyed like that, especially when we're trying to hold an emergency meeting here.

Lila stood uncertainly at the front of the bus, by her normal seat right behind the driver.  One of her harem-boys was sitting there already, waiting for her.  Why wasn't she sitting?

"Is…is she looking at…us?" gasped Eugene.

She was.  So what?  I took off my shoe and was about to clock Eugene with it when I saw something out of the corner of my eye that made my blood run cold.

Lila, popularity personified, had just taken a step towards the back of the bus.  Towards the geeks.  Towards us.  I felt my eyes narrow in her direction.

She wouldn't dare.

A/N:  Sorry for the super-long wait from me guys, my laptop totally died (the system board was defective) right after I posted the prologue for Ice Water and I'm just now getting it back to normal.  Expect many updates on all my stories soon!  

By the way, in order to make this story a bit faster for me to write, I'm not going to answer reviewers unless it's something really really important that I want to get across.  That way I'll have more time for this and Ice Water (I'll still answer them in Ice Water, don't worry).  But I really appreciate all reviews, even if I don't answer.  Thanks ya'll!  ~PJ


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